Lorin at the Window

Lorin at the Window
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Friday, February 29, 2008

Missing Jimmy




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Talie Tale's
Friday, February 29, 2008
Missing Jimmy

While creating my first Blog, I thought it ironic that it was the 8 year anniversary of the viewing for my best friend’s home going (Yes, his viewing was on Leap Day). In light of this, I found it fitting to do a tribute in his memory for those who knew him and those who missed out on such a joyful and fulfilling opportunity.

James Michael Pintaro, aka Jimmy, was the bestest friend a girl (or guy) could have. Jimmy was born with a rare bone disease called Osteogenisis but It didn't occurred to me that it should matter. I never saw or thought of him as being different, he was always Jimmy; my best friend. Jimmy moved to Birmingham with his family when I was a little girl and attended the same church that my family attended. Even when the Church split, in many different directions, we ended up in the same place. Jimmy's younger sister, Tina, and my older sister, Amy, were (are) best friends so I partially have them to thank for the friendship Jimmy and I developed over the years. When they didn't want the "little bratty sister" around (and I was, I can't deny it lol) Jimmy was always there for me to talk and hang out with. I remember many occasions when my parents would go out of town and my sister and I would stay with the Pintaros at their home in Alabaster. The years went by and our friendship grew. Yes, we had our rough spots but we always forgave and forgot as true friends do.

Fleeting memories overtake me even as I type this blog.....me crying on Jimmy's shoulder about one guy or another and Jimmy always being there, steady as Gibraltar. Making banners at my Dad's office to take to the Hospital and hang in Jimmy's room. Going to the Galleria and having the BEST time wheeling Jimmy around, playing pranks on onlookers (Starebears we use to call them while we snickered). One of my many favorite memories was going to Peter’s house with Jimmy and playing NBA Jamz (I was a tomboy) on Peters Sega...or Nintendo....whichever it was. Here these two boys were in the middle of a "Slam Dunk" competition thinking they were going to get a good laugh when I asked if I could try....I got perfect 10's on my first attempt...ha! I remember the green dress I bought that Jimmy picked out at Yeildings Department Store in Eastwood Mall. Oh, how I wish I still had that dress....and that I could still fit it in if I did, it was a size 8!

One day while at Jimmy's house, a lizard ran past us and it seemed Jimmy was going to have a heart attack right then and there! Imagine an 18 year old guy being saved by this little, blond haired wisp of a girl (that would be me). I caught the blue tailed lizard in a brass potter and took it outside to set it free. Though, while I may have saved Jimmy from a few lizards, he was truly the hero, saving me from a lifetime of hurt and pain by steering me away from the wrong guy(s). Sometime I followed his advice, sometimes not, but he was always right in the end. Hindsight tells me that I should have listened more often than not.

The sad day came that my best friend moved away. Knoxville, Tn was only a three hour drive from Birmingham but when I moved to Houston, Tx to attend Bible College, the three hour drive turned into 12. We stayed in touch, however, corresponding via email and telephone calls; our friendship never wavered. Jimmy would write, begging me to come and visit knowing that his health was failing, however, I was naive and didn't truly believe that anything would ever separate us permanently. So, I didn't take the time to go as often as I wish I would have. One night, while kneeling down in the little prayer room they had in the Girls Dorm area, I decided to just be honest with God. (It's silly that we sometimes find it hard to be honest with the One who knows us better than we know ourselves). I told God that giving up Jimmy seemed impossible. No matter how much I knew, that I should be the good little Christian girl who was full of faith and meekness and say "Thy will be done"; I couldn't bring myself to utter those four little words. In my heart I knew that it would be a lie and that God was aware that I would not mean those words in the least. But God has a way of changing our point of view, doesn't He?

Spring break came and I decided to go visit my best friend. I wasn't really prepared for the shock of seeing how much the disease had had its toll on Jimmy but my shock quickly diminished and was replaced by the joy of being reunited with my best friend. Jimmy couldn't walk much anymore, he was confined to a wheelchair most of the time but we still had a great time. It was during this visit that I was able to truly put Jimmy in the hands of God. Jimmy had never been "spiritual" while we were growing up but now he was a pillar of everything Christ-like. Strong, Loving, Generous, Kind ...go through the gifts of the Spirit in your mind and that is what emanated from Jimmy. One evening, after he had gotten ready for bed, I stood beside his hospital bed (in his house) and he told me that he was ready for heaven. The pain was bad, the seizures were intolerable and he just wanted to go Home. For the first time, I realized how selfish I had been. So consumed was I with my wants, my feelings, my hurts and my needs that I hadn't thought about how hard it was on Jimmy to live this life. I let him go that night.
A few months after my visit, on February 27th 2000, I got the call that Jimmy had passed away. He saw angels.

I still cry because I miss him so much. I'm crying now as I type this blog. It's been 8 years yet the pain of losing him stays fresh in my heart. There are some hurts that time can not heal, nor do I wish it to; for to heal is to forget and I will NEVER forget Jimmy. I went back to visit his parents a year after his death, everyone kept telling me that I needed closure. The first thing I did when I walked in his room was hug his clothes and smell them. Sister Mary (Jimmy's Mom) told me that it's the first thing everyone did when they walked into his room. The truth of the matter is this, the book that is Jimmy's life will never close. He's dancing with the angels now, worshiping at the throne of Jesus, the greatest of his stories has yet been told. I can't wait to see him again so I can hear what he's been doing all these years. I know that in heaven the first few hours, days or however long will be spent at the feet of my wonderful Savior but after that, I'm going to find Jimmy.